I am married to Morgan Fairchild

Below is a fact pattern from a recent police report (names have been changed). It reminds me of the old Saturday Night Live bit by Jon Lovitz where he would go around saying, “I am married to Morgan Fairchild. Yeah, that’s it.”

It also reminds me of this old joke. When God was putting Adam together, he told him about all the wonderful things a brain can do, then he told him about the wonderful things a penis can do. Then he asked Adam which one he would like and Adam said he would like both. God told him that he could do that, but that there was a catch: He could not use both at the same time.

A police officer told Homer that it appeared very suspicious that he was parked near the side of the road having sex with a female who he did not know the name of and that he suspected she was a prostitute. Homer agreed that it looked suspicious, but assured the officer that the female was his fiancée and her name was Georgia. Homer stated he felt embarrassed that he did not know her last name and thought it could be Park. After the officer pointed out that Homer was parked on Georgia St., Homer admitted her name was probably not Georgia, but still insisted that she was his fiancée.